By Nando Tats

Yes, yes… The Miami Heat is in the finals once again! Lebron and Wade are the talk of the town, and Chad Ocho Douchebag has just signed with our beloved/hated Miami Dolphins (I always thought this was a strange name for a football team. It is just way too cute).  What else has been going on in Miami? Zombies man! People eating each other’s faces, while enjoying their finest brand of bath salts. All signs point to Apocalypse! Here’s another sign… The Rock Shop (www.rockshopmiami.com) in South Beach has announced that they will be closing their doors.

The Rock Shop has welcomed and hosted original live music in the heart of South Beach for a few years now. Jazid and The Rock Shop stood out in Washington Avenue as the main choice bars for live original music. It is however, time to move on and bid farewell to The Rock Shop.

As their last endeavor, The Rock Shop hired a team of event specialists to book 4 of the best bands in Miami for one last night of debauchery. Upon accepting the challenge, Rock Kulture (www.rockkulture.com) has put together a dreamy, sexy ass line-up, for this event. Ready?

Urban Rebel (www.urbanrebel.net): if you live in Miami and you haven’t heard of this local band, you sir/ma’am are a cocksmoker. Trip 6, LaC, E, and Jim Bob bring the motherfucking funk like no other band! I have played a few shows alongside Urban Rebel and they haven’t once disappointed. Not just because they are my friends and have a great attitude, but also because they are top notch musicians. There isn’t one song in their set where the audience is not completely blown away. Check out Urban Rebel live if you haven’t already done so, but if you already have experienced them live, well then keep attending their shows. This band will be huge. Mark my words.

The Deadly Blank (www.reverbnation.com/thedeadlyblank): arguably the raddest band name in South Florida.  “Vintage Rock & Roll With a Modern Twist” is an understatement. These 3 dudes are the real deal, not that turtle shit you hear on the radio. I have also played alongside The Deadly Blank a few times and their sound is distinct and tight. One of the most interesting/best bands I have ever had the pleasure of sharing the stage with. Craig, Carlos, and Eric bring Rock & Roll to its knees and makes it gargle it.

Falseta (www.falsetamusic.com): Better described as “The kind of music metal dudes listen to with their girlfriends”. Melodic, hard, beautiful, Rock & Roll. Oh yeah, these Hialeah”an” dudes are talented and they will make sweet love to your moms whether you like it or not. Do me a favor and check out their video for “Running Low on High” (http://youtu.be/27u4Pcv26nw) from their debut EP titled “Perfecta”. I dare you to screen this for your mom, or girlfriend, or wife.

Barrio Activo (www.barrioactivo.com): Cuban rhythm with a side of Rock, Funk, Ska, and Reggae. Can you gobble that up? Barrio Activo’s music is insanely creative and appeals to a wide listening audience. I haven’t had the pleasure of sharing the stage with these dudes, but judging by what I’ve heard, I am really enjoying their sounds. Even if you don’t understand Spanish, it will get you your lame ass dancing and bobbing your head. I am not ashamed to say that I want to smoke a fattie and have their songs playing in my head all day.

As you can see Rock Kulture has done it once again. Less shit talking, and more getting shit done. Rock Kulture is here to support the local scene, while providing great shows to those who enjoy live music and don’t want to spend their nights at some place, listening to some dude play shit music on repeat on his laptop.

This article has been brought to you by Nando Tats of the band The Nude Cap (www.facebook.com/thenudies305). Any questions, concerns, corrections, and inquiries, can be sent to our website. They will not be reviewed and will be filed under my nutsack for further consideration.

SUPPORT THE LOCAL MUSIC AND ART SCENE OR DIE.

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